Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Nine Months Down


We have reached a milestone. Nine months in, nine months out. And what a happy boy we have! 

Here's where nine months has taken us.

Smiling. He has the most amazing smile, and he uses it a lot. He enjoys having his picture taken. When we go to the store he smiles at everyone. If they don't look at them, sometimes he yells. It's awesome.


Talking. Nixon talks a lot! He loves the sound of his own voice. Sometimes he yells his words, but usually it’s just a joyful babble. He currently says “dada,” “momma,” “hi” and he's said “ball” once. He's working on that and “whoa.” 

Moving. He has perfected the art of rolling. He rolls to get anywhere he wants, bypassing our efforts to encourage him to crawl. He scoots backward, but rarely figures out how to go forward. He loves to stand up! He can stand while holding something for a long time. He plays catch! We bought him a football for Easter and currently his favorite game is to play catch with us! So fun. He also likes anything rubber he can chew on and plastic wrappers. 

Eating. Nixon prefers vegetables over fruit. Carrots are his favorite. He mostly eats purees, but can also eat small pieces. Beyond fruit and vegetables he mostly eats cereal (rice cereal or cheerios). He doesn't like pinto beans, kiwis or avocado. We will try meat and cheese soon. Nixon is overcoming the pukes! He still has puke days, but we don't wear the burp rag as a fashion accessory anymore. He wears a bib all waking hours to protect his neck from a constant stream of drool. He is no longer the biggest kid on the block! He is in the 63 percentile for weight. 

Sleeping. Nixon sleeps to anywhere between 5-7 a.m. We try to let him keep trying until at least 6. If he wakes then, he usually goes back to sleep until 8 a.m. He’s a really great napper. He takes three naps a day most days, but we’re starting to drop the third nap. He likes to sleep on his side for naps, on his back during the night.


And this is where I’m at…
Emotionally. I love being home with Nixon every day. I miss my career and sometimes I fantasize about doing something small on the side, but I have really never been more content. I love being home. Sometimes I feel a little less smart than I used to be. I don’t feel as confident in carrying on a conversation. I guess between early risings and limited adult conversation that’s bound to happen.

Physically. I am still nursing Nixon. Besides figuring things out the first week I have had next to no issues with it. I am so grateful for the ability to feed him, and I honestly love it. It's a little break every few hours with just me and him. I will miss that.


I get tired easily. I do some sort of resting every day, whether a nap or reading. I try to eat enough, but low calories might be the cause of this. 

I weigh about 10 pounds less than I did before Nixon. I would like to gain a few pounds and tone up a bit, but for the most part I'm happy with how I look.

I still battle pelvic pain daily. I know someday this will get better, but the pain takes an emotional toll. I feel like I should be able to do just about anything but I can't. I can't carry or push heavy things and running is limited. I am still working with doctors and exercises to get better.

I am not ready for more. I cry when I think about having another child, in fact. I love my little boy. Right now that’s enough.

Monday, April 1, 2013

A Pile of Rocks


Yesterday my little boy fell asleep open mouthed in my arms. Asleep in my arms! I can count with 10 fingers the times this has happened. But he missed his nap timeframe and couldn’t fall asleep unassisted. So I helped, and then I couldn’t seem to let him go. I love that memory.

The past week has been warm enough for Nixon and me to go outside for exercise in the morning. Depending on my pain threshold we either walk or run (Nixon rides contentedly either way).

One morning I came upon a pile of pretty white rocks. At this moment I was a bit harrowed up in the task of getting Nixon to sleep the night through without needing to eat. Tyler and I made a plan, we have been committed, last week was one of the worst weeks of our lives. Needless to say, I have felt like a horrible, mean mom for the tears that are shed.

So at this moment, with these thoughts and these rocks I determined to build my son a rock collection. I picked the best I could find and added them to his stroller. He is young, he doesn't care about rocks. But for me it was something I could do. I want him so badly to know that I love him, even when I don't feed him at 3 a.m.

I know this sleep thing is such a small thing. My sister gave me the great advice to keep trying but move on. Give in to the fact that I will be tired for a long time. She's right. If I step back from the situation, I know completely that I’m a bit too worried about it. He won't remember this and someday I’m sure he will sleep all night.

But for me, somehow, picking up those rocks made me feel like the kind of mom I want to be.