Anniversary Love

Three years and one child later, I came to the realization that I really, really love my husband. Even more than I thought I did.

He had a weekend planned of fun activities to celebrate our Anniversary, but I spent that weekend in varying states of attentiveness, caught up in a terrible head cold. On a Sunday afternoon he sent me to bed, and he set out to take the luckiest boy in the world on a bike ride. I slept, then awakened in fear. How long was I asleep? Are they safe? Did they get hit by a car? (Can we blame the sickness for this hypochondrium?)

Then came an overwhelming realization – I would give anything – anything – so that neither my husband nor my son would feel pain. I would give my whole world for them. And I felt so much love for them in that moment it was unreal. I got up from my bed, walked out to find them wrapped in blankets swinging on the porch swing. See why he’s the luckiest boy in the world? And I’m the luckiest girl.

We did celebrate our Anniversary, though. We rode our bikes to Winger’s, got our usual with a side of pie, then put the little guy to bed, and Ty gave me a massage. Maybe perfect?

Then, as an Anniversary encore, we took a sunny weekend at its word and broke out our new mountain bikes. I’m convinced mountain biking burns more calories than any other activity. Wow. We went on a trail that terrified me! Switch backs, bushes (we learned this trail was for running in the end), and I ended up bruised in a pile of deer droppings at one point. Even after all that I think the memory will be a fond one. 

The Lullaby Life

Tonight as we were getting Nixon ready for bed he was sad. He breaks down when he realized bath time is over and pajamas are on their way. It’s a ritual we sing through every night. But tonight, tonight was different. Tonight amidst the tears he repeated over and over, “Mama, mama, mama” for the first time. I can’t begin to describe how much I love that little boy.

Our child hit eight months old and became the coolest baby in all the land. My favorite part about him is how he smiles his giant, toothless smile for everyone he sees. He is so happy! Let’s be honest, babies aren’t fairytales and our baby can scream with the best of them. But most of the time he loves to sing and smile and play.

Mama is the newest word, but before that came “Da dad da dad da.” I was walking Nixon around the house to see pictures of the people we know, and every time he saw one of Tyler he’d say “da dad da dad da.” Tyler was beyond skeptical when I told him this, but I was convinced he knew what he was saying. Later that day we walked out to meet Tyler as he was coming home from work. We stopped to talk to our friends. I said, “Nixon, what’s your new word?” Without skipping a beat he looked at Tyler, smiled big and said, “da dad da dad da!”

Yesterday Nixon and I were out on the grass blowing bubbles and eating dirt (wait, that was just Nixon), and our neighbor walked by and said, “wow, that’s the life.” I thought about how right he is. I am right where I need to be, living a life that’s overflowing with lullabies and big huge smiles. 

I have a close friend who told me as soon as I saw my little boy I wouldn't want to return to work. She was wrong. I probably could have managed to leave him them. But now, now that we've officially grown attached, leaving is the last thing on my mind. I feel overwhelmingly grateful for every day I can just be Nixon's mom.