So many opinions flood the airwaves. Never, ever let your baby cry, says one. You're heartless and they'll grow up with dependencies and addictions because you abandoned them. Really, that's what they tell me.
On the other end of the spectrum "the book" says beginning after the first week of life you must let them cry in their bed until they fall asleep each nap time because you're in charge. In return people will stop you in the street to tell you how happy and well adjusted your child is. And my child won't have entitlement issues later in life, they say.
I see both sides, I'm right down the middle and some days I feel like I'm doing it all wrong. It's terrifying to think that what I do now is going to affect a life forever. I never fully accepted the pressure that comes along with being a mom until now.
But I'm realizing that I know more than anybody else. Maybe I am even wiser than Babywise. Sometimes he fights sleep and I have to do what it takes to get him there, even if that means letting him cry while I watch the monitor and cry along with him. Sometimes he needs a little extra time with me and I will give it to him. And every once in a while he actually is starving and it's only been an hour and a half. I'll feed him.
I don't know what I'm doing. But I'm doing my very best and hopefully the rest is made up for. He smiles right back at me, has wide, explorative eyes, and slept six hours straight twice this week. So maybe he'll grow up and won't be half crazy after all.
I think it is the terrifed that we are going to mess them up that makes the difference, at least we care. That is the mark of a good mother. It gets worse when they can understand everything you say.
ReplyDeleteI need more pictures!
Lindsey
Oh good luck! We're still really struggling with sleep. I would say if you're going to do any crying do it before they can stand up! The tone of babywise was hard for me. I know they were trying to promote their method but honestly it seemed impossible for Tyler and yet they kept saying how awful I was and how sad he'd be if I didn't. And even though he's a lousy sleeper he is the happiest baby around. Also I felt like they gave little evidence to support their this is THE only way claims. I liked the evidence in Health Sleep Habits and enjoyed happiest baby on the block. I'm making Tim read the No Cry Sleep Solution. But I think a lot of it is like what you say- you have to watch him and know what he needs at the moment. I like that reading the books give me more arsenal in making decisions.
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