Resolutions

I have one New Year’s resolution. Just one for this whole year. Give birth to a healthy baby in July. Hooray for life! A heartbeat. A hand wave. Who would have thought how remarkable and world-changing those little things can be. That has been our focus for the past three months, and will remain the goal. We are beyond happy. Beyond.

I wish I could say, however, that it’s been three months of bliss. I’m too aware that things can go wrong. My nurse says I’ve lost my innocence. This is our first child, but not my first go-round on the pregnancy train. The first was not meant to be. I have grasped one hundred times for a reason. All I’ve discovered is that sometimes the reasons come later. And sometimes they never come.

Needless to say, I’ve had pins and needles beneath me this time around. Every day has been greeted with mixed reviews. Success – we’re still sick! Somehow I’m sure that desire is normal. The constant seasickness is difficult. But it’s a sign that things continue. And for me, for now, my faith has needed an extra boost.I have begun an assent into better health, and our child continues to progress outside the 13 week zone of concern. My mindset remains hesitantly dang excited. Thank goodness for Tyler who never accepted that hesitation and is just pretty much looking forward to being a dad. He’ll be a really great one. That is for sure.

We can’t wait, yet we can. Sometimes it doesn’t seem real, but it is. It’s real. It’s happening.