All of a Sudden

For a few years after I got my driver’s license – I would be driving along and all of a sudden realize I could drive. It was a little disconcerting. It was like I missed a part, and there I was semi-grew up. Maybe I’m the only one this happened to…

Anyway, I eventually got used to the fact that I could drive. Progress. This weekend, though, I had another one of those “Oh my gosh, I grew up moments.” Tyler was brushing his teeth in our master bathroom, and I was lying on our bed watching him. Out of nowhere, I realized – we own a washer and dryer. That is so weird.

The thought train came down to how life has changed in the last two years. How did it happen that I can not only drive the car, but I can also own it? When did I get old enough to have a mortgage – and buy a refrigerator? Since when do I can peaches on a Friday night? And gosh, when did I become a wife - with an amazing husband?

I know there was life in between then and now, but sometimes it all seems like a blur when I sit back and actually think about it. Like a lot of those things that mattered so much are pretty insignificant, other than the fact that they are part of what made me into me.

Man, I am so glad some of things I had planned for and prayed for didn’t happen. And I am so glad some of the things I didn’t think I needed were given to me and turned out to be the most important things of all. My relationship with God has taught me that He has a plan for me, even if at times I haven’t a clue what it is. He loves us, He doesn’t give up on us and He knows everything. Thank goodness. What a wreck I could’ve made out of the whole thing without Him.

There You Have It

Since you got a tour of our house, I thought I’d follow up with a tour of our life. Now, if you’re looking for thrilling this might not be the post, but this week is as close to typical as it gets: 

Monday. Class for Tyler on Monday nights, so I went for the sweetest bike ride with my dad. We went up the Provo Canyon. The leaves are on the cusp of changing and the air had a hint of fall, but it was still warm and light enough to see. It was perfect. He’s one of my best friends for real. I followed the ride with cleaning the house. Kinda like a good run, I like it most when it’s over.

Tuesday. Visits for my church calling while Tyler worked the night away. Eleven doors knocked, one answer. But that one answer was an old lady who seemed a little lonely. I was glad about that.  

Wednesday. Wednesday and pork chops with peach and pecan sauce, served over rice with broccoli from the garden and a homemade smoothie (contributed by Tyler). Things turned out pretty well. Then the grad student studied and I read right next to him.

Thursday. Thursday and the morning was going along just fine until that unfortunate incident with my car. It was the other guy’s fault, not too much damage, but I may have to do something about my neck … My head rang. All. Day. Long. Later Tyler subbed in an indoor soccer game and he scored three goals. He is very, very good at soccer, and I love that he got to play. He loved it too. With 10 minutes to spare we got to a wedding reception for Tyler’s family friend. They dyed the white roses a bit blue and I thought it was lovely. Then Tyler iced my neck and rubbed my back and called the guy that hit me and figured it all out. I never knew having someone to take care of you could feel so great.

Friday. I canned some peaches. A lot, it seemed. It took until, well, now actually. So long. My mom gave me the steps and the kitchen and the tools, and I went for it. Lucky Tyler got out of it with a night shift. Jury’s still out on if it’s worth it. I'm a little proud though. These peaches are going to taste soooo good.

We’ll be up early tomorrow for a fundraiser race with my dad – a little 5k. It’s to help a family with finances for their mom who’s dying of cancer. A good cause and it sounds fun. And then we get to hang out all day. It’s what I’ve been waiting for since Monday.

Did you make it to the end? Me too. I’m very tired. In about two hours Tyler will come home, and we'lll talk until we fall asleep. I can’t even wait.

Come Take a Tour

I love our condo. It’s so great – such a blessing. It’s not very big, but it’s brand new and it’s ours and we’re trying to make it more ours every day. Tyler’s at work tonight, so how about a tour?

One Saturday during a rain storm we painted the kitchen. Yellow. It’s different but growing on me. We stayed up until 1 a.m. another night painting the living room “brown tepee.” Good, tired memories.

And we got gift cards for doing this study at work (sold our bodies to science), so a few weekends ago, we turned our bedroom green. (ummm ... well you can kinda tell it's green. It's greener in real life.)

We closed on our condo five days after our honeymoon (we got married six months and one week ago!). Our parents were kind enough to help us move in that Friday night - we couldn’t wait. We finished late, and you know what we did next? Set up our T.V. in the only place there was room - two feet from the couch. Then watched a movie. In our own house. Boxes everywhere, but those weren’t important. We were home.

The couch was my parent’s. The kitchen table belonged to my sister. The desk - Tyler made it in junior high.

Almost everything else was mine or Tyler’s from our single days. So far, we’ve bought a fridge, washer and dryer. Then a side table at an estate sale for $5. An armchair for $25 on KSL Classifieds. And the sweetest purchase - a porch swing for $25 from the same place. It creaks a little, but it’s perfect.

We love it here. It’s a happy place.

Grandma Movie Night

Last night was grandma movie night. The tradition started with my sister when she lived nearby – once a month we’d go to my grandma Jane’s and watch one of those sweet old-school movies that are so timeless that you can’t help but relax and laugh. Pillow Talk, Send Me No Flowers, Sense and Sensibility - you know the ones.

I held tight to the monthly tradition after my sister moved away (I really wish she could come back for grandma movie night, but it’s a bit too far) – but I’ve missed the last few months with wife stuff going on. Last night, the man had to work so it looked like a great opportunity to me.

My grandma and I have all sorts of fantastic conversations – mostly about life, a lot about love. She misses my grandpa so much. She’s such an example to me of how much you can truly love someone. And how you can serve them and everyone else your whole life – and still be frustrated that you can’t do more. I’ve cried many a tear with her calmly listening, and I’ve laughed so hard I wanted to cry. She is very blunt and very funny. Last night she told me there’s nothing better in life than sex and food. See, she knows what's up.

She says she doesn’t know what else Heavenly Father wants of her, because she just wants to get it over with and be with my grandpa again. I used to tell her she had to stick around until I found a man. Now I’ve got a good one, but I’m still hoping for a few more years with her. I know there’s more to learn.

The movie was Alfred Hitchcock’s To Catch a Thief. I’d recommend it – a classic for sure. It was such a fun night. My grandma is the coolest.

Life Far Away

I had a dream last night about Gaby, my mama in Mexico. It's been a while since I've had those dreams, but they used to happen a lot. She’s not my real mom, but she was for two months when I lived in her home during an international volunteers program. She is an amazing, strong woman. She owns a business, runs a family – and in my dream she even spoke English all of a sudden. She asked me how I was. She listened to me. She was so excited I got married. She told me all about a new business she started (which I googled, and she actually did start something new!). I woke up so content. She is my favorite memory of Mexico.

Besides dating and marrying Tyler, Mexico was the happiest time of my life. I miss it a lot, but not as much as I did when I got home. All I could think about was how sad I was to leave. I cried a lot. The learning Spanish. The love and family togetherness I felt in Gaby’s home. Even the food. And every day, members of my group went to different service projects. Me and three others were the lucky ones assigned to the Helen Keller School for the Blind. We played, we sang, we swam with the students there. It was amazing how much we learned.

I promised myself that I would never forget who I was there – and I would never forget the importance and joy of loosing yourself by helping others. I wish I could say that promise has been kept every day. Sometimes I see all too clearly how far I am from the person I want to be. But the goal’s still there! I just keep working forwards. Hopefully someday I'm that person again. 

There was something so clean about the air today – you can feel fall. Like clean sheets and crunchy leaves. For me, fall is the most wonderful time of the year (no Christmas music until after Thanksgiving or I’d be singing the song). I don’t like the cold, but if I get fall first I can handle it.

I took one of my favorite routes on my run this morning. Next to barns and the open fields with the mountains standing incomparably taller than everything else. Things come to perspective when you realize how small those cars, houses, people, and things are standing next to what matters – like the mountains.  

I was fast as lighting. No. I was like nine minutes-per-mile fast, but that’s pretty close. To me running can be a spiritual experience. For the first mile, I’m emptying my head of all the worries. The second and beyond, often it’s just me and God. I tell Him He did a really good job with the landscaping. I tell Him I’m glad He went to all the effort. Sometimes I tell Him I’m grateful for everything I have, and I’m sorry I don’t tell Him that more often. And sometimes, I tell Him about the things that are bringing me down. Usually, those things don’t seem to matter much when I’m done.

It never fails that after a run I feel so much better about life and my place in it. It’s so worth it.This morning, I was trying to count all the miracles that have happened to me in life. I named three big ones just in the past year. I’ve been really blessed. I got home feeling light and clean as the air.

Harvest!

Our bishop gave us some land at the end of our complex. He said, “plant it in the ground and the good Lord will bring it up.” He’s a wise old farmer guy. I like him. 

So, Tyler tilled. We planted. We weeded. And it grew. And grew. And grew. We had beans out our ears. And now - who knew there’s a second harvest with these things? The peas were good. The spinach and lettuce was only good for a couple weeks – don’t know if it was worth it. The broccoli was on fire. The red potatoes. Good grief, there are so many. The cucumbers are all over the place - how does one eat all of these? And the corn. Strong and tall but no quite there.

Of course some things didn’t work. Like the carrots. We thought they were weeds and we nearly picked the lot of ‘em. We are very good at weeding. And the poor, sweet watermelon. The two of them grew to the size of baseballs. Both took to rotting. They were super cute though.

There’s just something about eating stuff you worked hard to grow. It’s like pioneerish, in a good way. The pioneers were strong and resourceful. And we freeze beans and corn in our freezer.

Crash and Then

Not the freeway - the freeway
 was not pretty

I apologize in advance for writing something sad – it’ll be quick. I was stopped in traffic on the freeway yesterday, and I was thinking bummer for that guy in the accident, bummer for me when my boss is mad that I’m two hours late getting back to work. Turns out, it really was a game-over bummer for the other guy. He was 71.

I saw what happened to his car – completely smashed around the steering wheel. So fast and then life’s over. Then I read the details on the online news this morning, and I made the decision not to cry and make a scene at work. But I felt a little sick inside – you know the feeling?

All because someone else wasn’t right in their mind. Not because of a mental illness – that I can slightly understand. But because she induced herself that way somehow with substances not meant for people in moving cars.

Drugs and the like are a sad thing for me because they have the potential for so much harm. They make moms cry all over the place. However, I don’t really like how some people on the comment boards online were saying things like “she should fry” or “let’s get our guns and get rid of this waste before she gets off with a slap on the wrist.” Because this is a sad story for her too. It seems like she’s made some really bad decisions, which she has to live with the rest of her life (hopefully without car access). I wish she hadn’t done what she’s done. But she is still a person, at one point I’m sure a good one. It’s sad on every side.

I wish I could give her mom a hug.