Seven

I read a medical paper that said the average child has seven sicknesses before his/her first birthday. Nixon turns one next week, and his seventh is upon us. I guess he’s holding up to statistics.

So, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Nixon in the middle of the night. He’s just got a little cold, but when he lies down he starts to cough. Coughs make me so nervous. Last night I went into his room where he was sleeping peacefully, despite what I felt were terrible coughing attacks. I wanted to pick him up and hold him to make things easier, but I didn’t want to wake him. So I laid on the floor next to his crib, said a little prayer, and waited until the coughing seized. I wish I could fix it.

This baby. He is amazing. To me he seems huge. He learns so much every day. He doesn’t need my constant entertainment anymore (which makes me a little sad), instead I watch and follow as he moves throughout the house on an exploration mission day after day. He finds little things wherever he goes, then leaves a trail of Nixon. I can’t believe how much he knows. He can flush the toilet and unroll the toilet paper. He can drive his cars along the ground and put them in the garbage can. He stacks his blocks and throws his cheerios. He teases with rocks and hides and seeks.

Nixon walks around furniture, but doesn’t walk on his own yet. I think I’ve had my first lesson in not comparing my child to another’s. I keep trying to get him to walk like some of the other children his age, and after he noodle legs it and cries, I step back and remind myself: He’s exactly what he should be. He’s got his gifts, like his mega-watt smiles. He’s perfect. Yeah, he’s perfect.

Using My "Sweet" Voice

Naptimes are not the same around here lately. I’m frantically trying to work most days, either for my paid job or on my church calling. 

I am completely overwhelmed and intimidated by the calling to be the Primary President in my ward. It’s been just a few weeks now, and some things are going well but definitely not all things. Parents cause more drama then the children ever could – I had no idea! The prior president had been in Primary for eight years. Oh, and she was a Kindergarten teacher. Sheesh. Are you kidding me?!

I’m getting over my youthful fears of mean children. I’ve filled 10 callings so far, created a third Nursery and reorganized several classes. I have no idea what’s going on with Scouts or Activity Days. That will be next.

I’m not sure why they called me. I haven’t been to Primary since I was 11, and sometimes I have no idea what’s happening. I’m learning how to get children to be quiet when I speak. I’m learning how to listen to their stories. I am learning how to make big words into little words. I’m learning how sweet they are and how super smart they are. I am developing an intense desire to teach them and to protect them. But I am so unqualified.

Do I have a little child voice? Did I accidently say a bad word during Sharing Time? Am I kind enough? Do I use simple enough words? I have a lot to learn. 

New #1

Pretty much everything is new these days. I’ve experienced a whirlwind and had little time for much else.

How about we start with my new job?

My old company called and asked me to be hired as a consultant and plan the tours for their convention since I’m the one who has planned them the past two times. Most of my work is from home during naptimes, a few times a month I have to go in for a meeting. The tours will be three days in October and we’re expecting somewhere around 20,000 in those three days. It will be crazy and the logistics are insane.

The Good Things

All that thinking has been good for me. I’ll admit it is nice to think about something else once in a while besides sleep schedules, baby food, developmental activities and poop (who knew that could be on my mind so frequently?). I worked really hard for five years in my career, and it’s nice to be able to use those skills again. And to be paid!

The Negative Ones

But, it’s hard. When I leave I feel guilty – Me and Nixon are best friends, and I feel bad every time I’m gone. I’ve left him many times before without a problem, but for some reason going to work makes me feel selfish. My sister said it will make me a better mom to leave once in a while, and I think she’s right. It’s still a little hard. I also hate inconveniencing people with requests for babysitting, even though it’s not super often. All of my work clothes are too big, so every time I have to go to the office I spend 30 minutes trying to find something to wear (minor problem, I know).

So far it’s been worth it. This particular project will only be until October, then I’ll have some decisions to make.