I’ve been thinking about how little I knew and little I
know about raising a child. Some of what I believed were researched, educated
comments have really come back to bite me.
“Oh, babies need
to cry it out it’s the only way they’ll learn to sleep. So you just let them
cry, no big deal.” Sure, yes. Sometimes babies need to fuss and sleep is a
vital skill, so you do what you must to get there. But letting them cry is SO
DANG HARD. I tried it for the first time at four weeks old – could not handle
it. I told Tyler he was too young, I’d try at two months. At two I said he’s so
small and colicky and sad, but definitely by at least four months old I’ll let
him cry.
Well he’s pushing four and a half months at this point
and the best I can do is let him fuss/cry for five minute increments. Then I
rub his head, his tummy and go back after five minutes. I respect his need to
sleep, and I guess it’s a plus that I rarely pick him up out of bed. We’ve
worked hard at a routine, and crying isn’t often part of going to sleep for him
now. But when it is I am far from the no-nonsense, tough love theory I had going on. Maybe
by six months…
“Gosh, I would
never sit in the back seat with my child and let my husband sit all alone up
front. Pick husband over child, people!” My child hates the car. Like we
begin putting him in his car seat and his face contorts, and in general it’s
all vein-poppingly downhill from there, unless miraculously he is lulled to
sleep (this doesn’t happen often). Yesterday I told Tyler I would pay $100 for
something, anything, that would make him like the car. I am that desperate.
And so, when my nerves have found their end, Tyler or I
will hop on back and sing and pat the little dude’s head and do anything to
keep the peace. Even that doesn’t always work, but it’s worth a try. If
you have any $100 ideas, please share. But at this point I’m eating my words
from time to time. Ugh. That’s rough.
This parenthood thing is such a guessing game, and I’d never
even attempt to tell anyone how to play. I hope I do a few things right in the
end.
